Losing Everything to Gain You Page 2

  Once in my cubicle, I paid no attention to Stacy.

  "Amy, something is definitely wrong. Talk to me, what gives?"

  I turned to her and opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Where did I start from, However would she be able to understand or comprehend everything? I stood up quickly as it struck me that I needed to be sure. My mind had played a lot of tricks on me in the last years since everything had become this way, and for all I cared, I could have just been in a trance, and Tejiri wasn't here.

  I made past Stacy, who stood there gawking at me. Later I heard her footsteps following behind me. I climbed up two flights of stairs and noticed that the large office on the top floor, which used to belong to the Manager, was being renovated. Tejiri in the flesh was standing there, tall, regal, with her well-tailored fuchsia pink suit. She was with all her crew and the Manager, Mr. Jim. She stopped talking once she saw me and waited. Her eyes darted behind me to Stacy, but I ignored that and moved closer.

  "Mrs. Ekene, is anything the matter?" Mr. Jim asked, confused, and I shook my head as I stopped in front of Tejiri.

  She put her hand across her chest in a defensive pose, watching, waiting. I stretched my hand and touched her face. She was shocked by the contact as I heard her inhale sharply and hold her breath.

  I traced the faint scar on her left cheek, remembering how I had memorized it before, I went lower to the other scar just on her chin, and the tears started to flow unannounced. I traced her bare lips, full, pink, and plumb, even better than before. As usual, she wasn't wearing any makeup. Finally, I went to her eyebrows and searched out the raised scar hidden beneath all the hair, remembering how she had acquired it. When I was done with that, I dropped my hands and turned around to leave even as I felt her eyes boring holes into my back. I wasn't dreaming, Tejiri was here!

  I felt my body coming alive, my stone, cold heart beating faster than ever. The layers of rock that I had built around my heart crumbled into tiny pieces, and all it needed now was for it to be washed away. I sat at my desk, bent my head over, and washed those crumpled stones away with my tears. All these years of being dead, I finally come alive. I cried for my pain, for my marriage, out of joy, and for Tejiri. I cried and cried until there was nothing left.

  I raised my head only to realize that it was closing time. Usually, I would stay overtime, but not today. I picked my bags, signed out of work, and drove home safely, I wasn't about to kill myself now that I was finally alive.

  Nothing could have dampened my mood that day. I walked on clouds, and the smile plastered on my face could have blinded the sun. Even seeing Sam at home, in the sitting room, waiting patiently for me couldn't have ruined my day even if it tried.

  "Sam! You are home," I smiled as I refused to acknowledge his shock and surprise.

  "Yes, I am, and you are smiling and happy. Did Santa come to visit or Destiny Tech is not shutting down?" he asked as he dropped his newspaper to glare at me.

  "Santa? Funny seeing as it isn't even Christmas. Yes, my job is safe, and Destiny Tech is also safe," I didn't bother to expatiate on the topic.

  I didn't care to ask why he was home now instead of the weekend as I prepared his dinner and served him before climbing up to my room. Yes, I had my room, and Sam had his place, even though it wasn't his wish. We had fought over it a couple of times, also involved our parents, but I wasn't having any of it. I needed my privacy away from him.

  I drew a warm bath and soaked myself, further washing away all the dead cells, feelings, and emotions still lurking around. I was born again as I stepped out of the bath to rinse off. I drew the bolt on my door and climbed into my bed. It was then I allowed myself to remember.

  CHAPTER TWO

  -2004, FGC ASABA.-

  "Amara, wait here while your daddy and I finish your clearance and registration, okay?" my mother said warmly as she released me from a tight hug.

  "Yes, mom, don't take long, please," I said as I looked for somewhere to sit.

  I decided on a pavement and plumbed on it unceremoniously, my oversized blue checkered house uniform swishing around me. Mother just had to go and sew something so hideous for me. It was her usual way of things. In her thinking, it would take quite a while for me to outgrow something this big.

  I counted my bags once more, making sure there was nothing left in the trunk of my father's Peugeot 405, "One... Two... Three... Four... and school bag, Five. Complete!" I shouted as I waited patiently.

  A few minutes later, my parents were back with receipts and lots of sweat beads on their foreheads.

  "Done," my mother said as she introduced me to her childhood friend, who was working in the school as a mathematics teacher.

  "Amara, this is Mrs. Sumbo. I told you that she worked in FGGC Benin but was later transferred here. Take her as your mother and let her guide you. She has my number. I have left some money for her to keep for you. Whatever you need, tell her, and spend that money wisely. We have to go now," my mother said quickly as I rushed into my father's arms and held him tightly around his waist. He managed to maneuver out of my firm grip, and soon they were bidding me goodbye.

  I watched as my mother and father left me on my own for the first time. I was surprised by the tears that started to fall. As their car drove off, the tears had turned to full-blown wailing. It shocked me because I had been so excited at the prospect of boarding school in the beginning.

  Who wouldn't be after knowing that all these different canned foods and beverages were all mine to eat as I liked? Standing here now, though, I felt foolish for thinking I could substitute being with my parents for food. The chubby and warm Mrs. Sumbo pulled me into her soft embrace. Soon the tears stopped, and I was left sniffing.

  "It's okay, my child, you would be okay," she said, stroking my hair. I soon stopped sniffing altogether.

  "Hey, two of you, help this new girl to her hostel," she called to two girls walking just by. To me, she said, "Amara, they will show you to your dormitory, I am always in the staff room on a school day. Whatever you need, you tell me. Keep your provisions safe in your locker, you will find it with your name written on it in your dorm, so keep your stuff inside and lock it safely. If anyone bully's you, tell me. I will check up on you tomorrow, okay?" she said as she handed me over to the two girls who looked no older than my twelve years of age.

  They giggled happily and quickly helped me with two bags, my foam, and my pillow. I was left with two huge ones. I carried my backpack and struggled with the remaining one as I followed the two girls.

  "Welcome, I am Christiana, and this is Ameh. We are in JSS 2. How about you?" the girl who introduced herself as Christiana said.

  "Amara, JSS 1," I replied simply.

  "That means we are your seniors, so you will call us senior," the one introduced as Ameh, said happily.

  I nodded and wondered if I could survive to lug this heavy bag. The hostel still didn't look any closer.

  At this point, I put the bag down and decided to drag it over the grass, and that was when I saw a girl walking briskly past me.

  "Hi, can you please help me?" I asked sadly.

  She turned to me and looked me over before stopping. I stopped too as the two girls kept walking oblivious of my predicament.

  "You are asking me to do something dangerous. I only go towards the hostels at night. If I help you, I would lead you only to the back of the hostels and not inside, deal?" the girl asked, cocking her head to the side in a cute way. Despite my situation, I smiled brightly at her beautiful voice, and the matter of fact way she had laid the options on me.

  She smiled back at me, and a weird sensation went through all of my insides. She was stunning in a television rich kid kind of way, and it made me giddy with excitement that she was even talking to me.

  "Sure, deal. So why are you avoiding the hostels?" I asked as she picked up one hand of the bag while I picked the other. Phew! It was so much better.

  "I don't know if I look like a slave or something, but trust me, once t
hose seniors see me, they remember all the chores they have. I hate to do chores for seniors. They hate me because I refused to be a school daughter to anyone of them. I don't believe in that girly, annoying thing called school parenting, I rather be alone. Plus, I owe at least five seniors, different chores. If they get me, I would be..." she drew her finger across her neck to signify 'dying,' she even brought out her tongue for effect sakes, and I laughed so hard my eyes almost popped. She joined in and laughed along with me, not as much as me, though.

  "So the seniors bully here? My mum told me to report if anyone ever bullied me to my school guardian. Mrs. Sumbo, also said the same thing to me just now," I said proudly and happily, knowing that I had someone watching over me. Her reaction had me rethinking my joy.

  She stopped dead in her tracks and said, "don't ever do that. The teachers would scold the seniors, and the seniors would come back and intensify the bullying. Have you seen them, they are bigger than most of the teachers and everyone is scared of them. What am I even saying, you're girly, beautiful, and you’d get a school mother like right now as everybody would love you."

  She described me while looking me up, and I felt so shy that I could have almost entered the ground.

  "You're beautiful too. If I was a senior, I would pull my hair out for a school daughter like you. See how long your hair is, I would spend the whole day brushing it," I replied dreamily as I imagined brushing her hair.

  The hair had been one of her features that had stood out. It was so long that I could hardly believe it was just her hair or that she was even Nigerian. She was dark-skinned, though. It was pretty much visible; it was just her hair. It looked curly and soft, and she had the hair made into thick cornrows of only ten.

  "They did fight over me at first, but I am not girly, I am stubborn plus I am not dainty. So, they pretty much left me to myself or so I like to think. Thanks for the compliment," she smiled a sweet dimpled smile at me while showing perfect white dentition. The girl was perfect in every way, and it took a lot of guts to conceal my admiration of her.

  I smiled back as we got to the dormitory area, two long buildings facing each other. She stopped, dropped the bag just behind the dormitory, and waved at me as she made to leave, but I stopped her.

  "My name is Amarachukwu Okorie, but everyone calls me Amara," I said to her as she waited politely to hear what I had to say.

  "Welcome to boarding school life, Amara, and I hope you get to enjoy it. I am off back into the shadows. I am a wolf, stealth is my superpower," she responded, putting her two hands in the air like paws and tiptoeing dramatically into the bushes. She even howled quietly for my hearing as I broke into another bout of laughter.

  She was so dramatic and hilarious, and she sounded so fluent and intelligent. In all honesty, the first thing I did when I settled down in my bed that day was to check the meaning of 'dainty' and 'stealth'.

  "What is your name?" I shouted into the bushes she had just prowled into, but I got no answer, she was gone.

  I sighed sadly as I resumed my sojourn into the unknown. Once I got to the vicinity of the hostel, a shout went into the air.

  "New student!"

  "What house?" another loud voice asked.

  "Blue house. Yay!" the first voice replied.

  There were many screams and shouts, and soon people surrounded me, helping with my bag and pulling me towards what I supposed was my dormitory. My first instinct was fear, lots of unfamiliar faces, and immediately my mind went to... I didn't know her name still. I decided then and there to call her Wolf.

  I greeted shyly and followed their lead. Once in my dormitory, I noticed the seniors checking me and my luggage out. It was pretty obvious they were seniors, they had this air around them.

  I stood awkwardly as I took in the dorm. Two rows of double bunk beds, pushed against the wall, opposite each other. Two bunk beds were joined together intermittently after a single bunk bed. The walls of the dormitory might have been painted before, but now it was just washed out. The floor was cemented smoothly, and it had about ten electric bulbs that provided illumination. There were two entrances to the dorm, but the other one had been dominated by a senior. That left the hall with a single entry.

  "Come here," a voice said, and I immediately became scared.

  "What is your name?" the fair-complexioned beautiful senior asked again, and my mouth went dry.

  "Amarachukwu Okorie ma," I said, stammering, and the students who had been standing around with my bags burst into laughter.

  "I am not your mother. Call me senior Naomi, not ma. Put her foam on my empty top bunk and push her begs under the bed."

  The other girls obeyed quickly. Soon my stuff was neatly incorporated into the cramped space. I stood there awkwardly, wondering what to do next.

  "Come and sit here," Senior Naomi said patting her bed and I obeyed as she continued, "don't be scared of me, I will protect you, and I will take care of you as long as you are a good girl. This space is our corner, and you are to keep it clean, get us water to bathe and drink every morning. Never step on my bed to get to yours. Use that stool. Understood?"

  She stroked my hair fondly. I nodded quickly and assimilated all her instructions, trying hard to hold them all in. That evening she boiled water for me with a ring boiler, which was stated clearly in the student handbook as illegal, but what could I do?

  I took my bucket of water to the bathroom, which was the dirtiest place I had ever seen. I had to watch where I put my leg and simultaneously dodge piles of dried feces. I managed to get the right spot, and I took my bath hurriedly. She made me dinner of cornflakes and milk, once I was through, she ordered me to unpack all of my stuff and arrange them where it should be. I did that till it was lights out, and that was when she pecked me good night. Instead of her climbing into bed as I expected, it seemed like she was dressed to go out, and while I watched, she did just that. I wondered where she was headed at this time of the day and after lights out for that matter. When I couldn't fathom it, I remembered wolf and tried to search for her, knowing she had been wearing the same color of house wear as mine, but I saw no one that remotely looked close to her.

  I turned to the other bunk bed, joined to mine, and noted that the owner was still not in bed, even though it was lights out. The bed was so neatly made that I became tempted to roll over into it. I soon drifted into a fitful sleep where I dreamt of falling into a bottomless pit.

  CHAPTER THREE

  I drifted into a peaceful sleep from my flashback, dreaming of Tejiri and me in her lair, talking and laughing at our silliness. The dream had me smiling in reality, and when my alarm rang at five in the morning. I was pissed at the interruption.

  I turned my alarm off and sat up in my bed, yawning, scratching, and cursing. Then I remembered the events of the previous day and a big smile spread on my face. Tejiri was finally here.

  I sprinted to my kitchen downstairs and turned on the small television hanging from the kitchen walls. I tuned in to a music channel as I started to hum and thump along to the music. I was revved up and happy, all seemed right with the universe.

  I put a little rice on fire before thinking that it was wrong to want to cook for just Tejiri and not add a little for Sam, So I measured more rice and poured it to the one already on fire. Tejiri was a foodie, and that thought immediately took me back to the next morning of my life in boarding school.

  ******

  -2004, FGC ASABA-

  For some reason, I woke very early, way too soon, and as I tried to turn, I realized why. I had wet the bed, and the sheets were so damp that sleeping had become impossible.

  I opened my eyes in panic as I peeped down at the sleeping Senior Naomi to check the damage, but thankfully the bed wasn't dripping into her mouth as I feared. I couldn't remember when last I had an accident. I was so ashamed of myself. I quickly turned to the other bed joined to mine, and my eyes met that of Wolf.

  She smiled at me brightly, but I couldn't reply to her enthusiasm at seein
g me. I had wanted to see her again, but knowing that she would probably notice the horrible thing that had happened made me shiver in fear.

  "So you got the loner senior Naomi, the most eligible senior in FGC Asaba Wow!" she whispered as she looked around to ensure no one was listening.

  It was still dark outside, and there were different sleeping noises, from sleep talkers to snorers. "So that's your bed and when did you even get back to the hostel, why are you awake?" I whispered back, bombarding her with questions.

  At this point, we were facing each other. I was covered up to my chin with a blanket, and she was too. Only our faces were visible, our mouths were inches apart so we could hear each other.

  "I am a wolf, remember? I will be out of here soon. It's Sunday, and we have mass later in the day. Plus, I always wake extra early on Sundays because I will be at the dining hall early because it's Sunday! Jollof rice day!" she said excitedly, all the while shaking her head from side to side to a silent song in her head. Despite the situation, I chuckled lowly as I shook my head in exasperation.

  She got sober, and her gaze went over my body. I became self-conscious under her gaze, and my former insecurity reappeared.

  "I had an accident, I peed myself," I confessed in the smallest voice ever, and she nodded.

  "It's okay, it happens. Know what?" she asked, sitting up. I shook my head in the negative.

  "Take off your pajamas, hand me your blanket and bedsheets, I will wash them and dry them in my special place where it wouldn't be stolen. So go take a bath," she said before quickly jumping down and getting her buckets and soaps.

  I sighed appreciatively as I jumped into action. I watched her fly from the top bunk, landing on the floor without even a sound. Wow!